In Over Our Heads

The disappointment of walking away from Turks & Caicos as our next stop is still very raw. This train is running full steam ahead, but we suddenly find ourselves wondering about the destination. It's a disconcerting feeling. Not too long ago I was planning to be in a new country, with a new normal, in just a matter of months. Now there is a chance I will be not only in the same country, but the same state. The same city. The same concrete village. Only now, I'll be without my house, without my belongings, and without the new normal. Sitting in a squat position, ready to jump. Sitting in a squat for very long hurts. Try it.

See? It hurts.

This is the part where we prove to ourselves we won't give up. We aren't giving up kind of people, no matter what the obstacle. The disappointment right now serves a purpose. It shows us how much we really want this. And, from what I can tell, to make this jump you have to really, really want it. Wanting it isn't the problem. Feeling like we're in over our heads is a bit suffocating at the moment.

 We're all a little bummed right now.

We're all a little bummed right now.

So we're putting away the sniper rifle and taking the shotgun approach. Our biggest hurdle is housing. The biggest hurdle to finding housing is the dogs. If we didn't have the dogs, Husband and I would have trekked off months ago, a suitcase in each hand. But we do. And not having the dogs is not an option. Losing them would break me into a million little pieces. Which puts housing options at the top of the list of things to address. We opened up our list of countries, narrowed that down to cities where jobs are more likely, and sent out queries about potential short-term housing arrangements. We did this all. day. Over 12 hours of polite semi-begging.

The thing about housing is that it is the perfect Catch-22. For all the locations on our list, it appears to be virtually impossible to secure housing without being on the island. In order for us to be there, leashes in hand, we need to have housing arrangements. So instead of asking people for a long-term commitment, we're only looking for a couple months. Which means we're going to be frantically busy when we get there.

I have a feeling when this is all said and done, we will look back at our antics with amazement. And not at the accomplishment, either. At the wheel-spinning madness that is trying to figure this process out. I hope we laugh at ourselves and have a better sense of how this whole making-a-big-move-thing works. I'm ready for that part.

Or, perhaps this stalling is just a normal part of the process. I don't really know, but I'm making the best of it. As I've mentioned before, patience is my lesson for this life. Well, one of many, but let's just focus on one flaw at a time. Normal or not, this stalling is a great way for me to better prepare myself for the patience that will be required for island living.